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Gabbi Fresh

December 4, 2014

Respectability

I’m tired of hearing people’s respectability politics. Part of that includes the idea that if you’re a woman/if you’re black/if you’re plus size, you must adhere to a certain dress code in order to be taken seriously (or have your life valued). It’s dismissive of the larger societal, systemic problems that in no way stem from our clothing choices.

I’m constantly told by readers and followers on social media that they wish they had my body. It’s meant to be flattering, but really it makes me sad. I’m not flattered. I want to break barriers and help people feel like they can break the rules, not leave them feeling like because they don’t look like me, they have to stick to them. One thing I hear often is “I wish I had your flat stomach!” It’s true that depending on the lighting, angles, shapewear etc, that my tummy can look flatter than it actually is, but I promise it’s there. We shouldn’t feel like we can’t wear body con skirts or dresses because we’re afraid it will be seen, like its mere existence is shameful. In the body positive world, we call it ‘rocking the VBO’ (visible belly outline). It’s okay. Your body is okay.
Gabi40-021
plus-size-midi-skirt-crop-topGabi40-019
Jacket-ASOS/Skirt-ASOS/Hat-ASOS
Photos by Sylvia G.

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Comments

20 Responses to “Respectability”

  1. Tabayag says:
    December 4, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Yes! I can’t stand this “dress for your shape” nonsense. Dress your body in clothes. However many or as few as you want to.

    Reply
  2. Karen Busta says:
    December 4, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    This is the main reason I follow your blog! Keep changing the status quo!

    Reply
  3. Laura says:
    December 4, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    HELL YES to all of this. And I love your outfit!

    Reply
  4. suz00 says:
    December 5, 2014 at 3:47 am

    Great outfit and post as well.

    Reply
  5. Lope Akanmu says:
    December 5, 2014 at 4:47 am

    This post is so touching…I just started learning to be comfortable in my own skin and I have accepted that I am bigger, plus sized..curvier….fat. But I always wish I had a bigger bum or a flat stomach so I can be the ‘ideal plus size’ because the ‘ideal plus size’ always seems to have it easier…especially if you have a big bum and a flat stomach. I know I am just rambling..it’s nice how you tell us to embrace our body..looking forward to more post like this. BTW you look amazing in this outfit like always.

    Lope xoxo
    http://www.theladylope.blogspot.com

    Reply
  6. Lorie says:
    December 5, 2014 at 5:02 am

    Your looks inspire me to be more comfortable in my own skin. You look happy and confident and you never shy away from any fashion. The fact that many of your looks show a little stomach has made me question all the fashion rules I was raised with. Bloggers like you have challenged societies views on body image and it’s time the followers/readers challenged our own thinking and made a change.

    Reply
  7. Melissa Tierney says:
    December 5, 2014 at 5:19 am

    Such a cute and colorful look!

    xo,
    Melissa
    MissyOnMadison.com

    Reply
  8. Irene says:
    December 5, 2014 at 7:39 am

    You are amazing, you are such an inspiration to many of us, please never change :) xoxo

    Reply
  9. Gumpowder says:
    December 5, 2014 at 8:01 am

    YES! Yes to everything!

    Reply
  10. Curvily NYC says:
    December 5, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    YES to all of this. Thank you for being visible and vocal – you’ve helped so many people reframe what we “can” wear, including me :)

    Reply
  11. Kera says:
    December 6, 2014 at 5:05 am

    Great post Gaby. I critiqued the blog a few posts ago saying that I thought it was impersonal. This is the kind of message I like to see intermixed with the fashion. Thank you!

    Reply
  12. Her Philly says:
    December 6, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    I love this. i don’t think your body looks anything like my body, but I’ve taken your style, shopping suggestions, and most importantly, confidence, and applied them to my own look. Love reading your blog, Gabi!

    Reply
  13. Jean says:
    December 6, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    I do like your positive attitude and happiness in your own skin, that is very refreshing and gives a lot of women more confidence. We are obsessed with finding that skinniest body and can lose sight of what is important. Also, your love of colors and choosing outfits that are flattering to you and your size is very encouraging. Time to hit the malls! I however do not think that being obese is healthy or something to be aspired to and to me I believe you are overweight (medically) and that is something that is not okay to encourage especially as our country is crossing over the obese boundary quickly and at a younger age.

    Reply
  14. Leroy Jenkins says:
    December 6, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    Flat stomach? lmao. You are a land whale, sweet heart.

    Reply
    • gabifresh says:
      December 7, 2014 at 2:27 am

      sending you healing prayers! hope you find happiness.

      Reply
  15. Lovely In LA says:
    December 8, 2014 at 2:48 am

    YESSSS on all counts and you look fabulous too :)

    Reply
  16. Melissa Walker Horn says:
    December 9, 2014 at 5:27 am

    Love. It. All. And that skirt, the colour drew me over to this post from a thumbnail. It’s perfection.

    Reply
  17. Shari-Ann says:
    December 10, 2014 at 11:50 am

    I used to assume that body confidence/self acceptance would come when I got to a certain “perfect” body shape or size because only one type of body is shown in the media. I was relying on an external voice to tell me what is and isn’t beautiful (and therefore what shapes are worthy of wearing stylish clothes and showing off their body) and that’s so stupid and dangerous. I should tell myself I’m beautiful every day, allow the confidence to build naturally and wear what makes me feel awesome and disregard anyone who disagrees.

    http://insidesai.blogspot.co.uk/

    Reply
  18. Jennifer- Emerald-Fashion Blog says:
    December 15, 2014 at 10:13 am

    you are simply amazing

    Reply
  19. Sam miller says:
    December 16, 2014 at 2:45 am

    I have always felt like if I wear a body con skirt or a form fitting dress that it is shameful. For so many years I hid behind hoodies and looked frumpy afraid of what others will say. with in the past few years I have finally been figuring out my style. I am working on seeing past my extra curves at the real beauty of me. Thank you for posting this. I am VERY new to blogging but please feel free to check it out at amplechick.wordpress.com.
    sam

    Reply

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